“You see,” said Mr. Toots, “what I wanted in a wife was – in short, was sense. Money, Feeder, I had. Sense I – I had not, particularly.” ~ Dombey and Son
Humorous Quotes
We hope you enjoy this collection of funny quotes written by Charles Dickens.
“Vether it’s worth goin’ through
“Vether it’s worth goin’ through so much, to learn so little, as the charity-boy said ven he got to the end of the alphabet, is a matter o’ taste.” ~ The Pickwick Papers
“Barkis is willin’.”
“Barkis is willin’.” ~ David Copperfield
The dinner was as remarkable
The dinner was as remarkable for the splendour and completeness of its appointments as the mansion itself, and the company were remarkable for doing it ample justice, in which respect Messrs Pyke and Pluck particularly signalised themselves; these two gentlemen eating of every dish, and drinking of every bottle, with a capacity and perseverance truly astonishing. They were remarkably fresh, too, notwithstanding their great exertions: for, on the appearance of the dessert, they broke out again, as if nothing serious had taken place since breakfast. ~ Nicholas Nickleby
It’s an Old Habit of Mine
“It’s an old habit of mine, Wal’r,” said the Captain, “any time these fifty year. When you see Ned Cuttle bite his nails, Wal’r, then you may know that Ned Cuttle’s aground.” ~ Dombey and Son
“O’ course I came to
“O’ course I came to look arter you, my darlin’,” replied Mr. Weller; for once permitting his passion to get the better of his veracity. ~ The Pickwick Papers
Take Another Glass
"Take another glass of wine, and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose." ~ Great Expectations
He was drunk upon the
He was drunk upon the average once a day, and penitent upon an equally fair calculation once a month; and when he was penitent, he was invariably in the very last stage of maudlin intoxication. He was a ragged, roving, roaring kind of fellow, with a burly form, a sharp wit, and a ready head, and could turn his hand to anything when he chose to do it. He was by no means opposed to hard labour on principle, for he would work away at a cricket-match by the day together, – running, and catching, and batting, and bowling, and revelling in toil which would exhaust a galley-slave. ~ Public Life of Mr. Trumble, Once Mayor of Mudfog
The noise in this room
The noise in this room was perfectly tumultuous, for there were more children there, than Scrooge in his agitated state of mind could count; and, unlike the celebrated herd in the poem, they were not forty children conducting themselves like one, but every child was conducting itself like forty. ~ A Christmas Carol
“She’s a very charming and
“She’s a very charming and delightful creature,” quoth Mr. Robert Sawyer, in reply; “and has only one fault that I know of, Ben. It happens, unfortunately, that that single blemish is a want of taste. She don’t like me.” ~ The Pickwick Papers
