“If you could see my legs when I take my boots off, you’d form some idea of what unrequited affection is.” ~ Dombey and Son
Humorous Quotes
We hope you enjoy this collection of funny quotes written by Charles Dickens.
We spent as much money
We spent as much money as we could, and got as little for it as people could make up their minds to give us. We were always more or less miserable, and most of our acquaintance were in the same condition. There was a gay fiction among us that we were constantly enjoying ourselves, and a skeleton truth that we never did. To the best of my belief, our case was in the last aspect a rather common one. ~ Great Expectations
Man is but mortal and
Man is but mortal: and there is a point beyond which human courage cannot extend. Mr. Pickwick gazed through his spectacles for an instant on the advancing mass, and then fairly turned his back and–we will not say fled; firstly, because it is an ignoble term, and, secondly, because Mr. Pickwick’s figure was by no means adapted for that mode of retreat–he trotted away, at as quick a rate as his legs would convey him. ~ The Pickwick Papers
“Vell,” said Mr. Weller, “Now
“Vell,” said Mr. Weller, “Now I s’pose he’ll want to call some witnesses to speak to his character, or p’raps to prove a alleybi. I’ve been a turnin’ the bis’ness over in my mind, and he may make his-self easy, Sammy. I’ve got some friends as’ll do either for him, but my adwice ‘ud be this here–never mind the character, and stick to the alleybi. Nothing like a alleybi, Sammy, nothing.” ~ The Pickwick Papers
A bill, by the bye,
A bill, by the bye, is the most extraordinary locomotive engine that the genius of man ever produced. It would keep on running during the longest lifetime, without ever once stopping of its own accord. ~ The Pickwick Papers
“Why, I don’t exactly know
“Why, I don’t exactly know about perjury, my dear sir,” replied the little gentleman. “Harsh word, my dear sir, very harsh word indeed. It’s a legal fiction, my dear sir, nothing more.” ~ The Pickwick Papers
We have all some experience
We have all some experience of a feeling, that comes over us occasionally, of what we are saying and doing having been said and done before, in a remote time – of our having been surrounded, dim ages ago, by the same faces, objects, and circumstances – of our knowing perfectly what will be said next, as if we suddenly remembered it! ~ David Copperfield
Well observed R. Wilfer, cheerfully,
“Well!” observed R. Wilfer, cheerfully, “money and goods are certainly the best of references.” ~ Our Mutual Friend
Ven you read the speeches
“Ven you read the speeches in the papers, and see as vun gen’lman says of another, ‘the Honourable member, if he vill allow me to call him so’ you vill understand, sir, that that means, ‘if he vill allow me to keep up that ‘ere pleasant and uniwersal fiction.'” ~ Master Humphrey’s Clock
His wardrobe was extensive–very extensive–not
His wardrobe was extensive–very extensive–not strictly classical perhaps, not quite new, nor did it contain any one garment made precisely after the fashion of any age or time, but everything was more or less spangled; and what can be prettier than spangles! ~ The Pickwick Papers
